Looking for Connection

Connection Tools

We are not always craving food; sometimes we are looking for a connection. When we feel lonely or disconnected, we sometimes rely on food to give us temporary comfort. We can learn to recognize our need for connection and start responding in different ways.

When we pull away from others, our isolation grows; this makes food feel like a safer and easier place to find comfort. When we recognize what we are truly looking for, we can respond to our needs instead of responding to the urge to eat.

Calling or Texting a Friend

It isn’t always easy to reach out when you are lonely or having a hard day. You might feel that you are bothering someone, or putting your burdens on someone else. That's when you start telling yourself that your friends are probably busy, and you should handle things yourself.

Connecting with someone can be as easy as texting someone a funny picture. It can lift your spirits when that funny picture creates conversation and laughter. Most of us have people in our lives who are fun to be with but may not be the people we feel comfortable confiding in. There is nothing wrong with that because different relationships can meet different needs. It is important to have people that you can laugh with and people who will listen and support you.

Joining a Social Group or Online Community

What makes a difference are small moments of connection, as well as looking for a stronger sense of belonging. That might mean finding opportunities to connect with people who share some of our interests. It can be as simple as joining a walking group or book club, taking a class or workshop, becoming involved in a faith community, or volunteering for an organization you care about. These groups can share your interests and values, while also filling a void of loneliness. 

Joining a group that is centered around something you enjoy can make connecting with others feel more natural, because you have something in common. A walking group will give you an activity to do together, and a book club will give you something to talk about. You don't have to walk into the room and immediately make a new friend. A new connection begins simply by showing up and getting to know people around you.

If it feels awkward the first time you join a group, that is normal. Allow yourself time to get to know everyone and feel comfortable in your new environment before you decide if the group is right for you. 

Spending Time With Pets

Connection does not have to always come from another person. The companionship of an animal can help us feel less alone.

Spending time with an animal can provide companionship when you are lonely. Animals can offer comfort without needing conversation or explanation. Just patting a pet, playing together, going for a walk, or having the sense of being needed can give you connection. If you don’t have a pet, you could always visit a friend or family member who does. You could also volunteer at an animal shelter. Animals don’t replace the human connection that we need, but they still give us genuine companionship and comfort.

Connection can happen in different ways. It can be sending a text to someone you know, joining a group centered around an interest of yours, or spending some time with an animal that brings you comfort. You don't have to do all of these things. One small step toward connection can be enough to begin.

Your world can feel small when you are lonely. We often use food to fill the void, but connection helps you realize that you don’t have to face everything alone. 

When you need connection, what helps you most, a text from a friend, time with your pet, or being around people who share your interests? I’d love to hear your go-to.